AJ Moore

I wasn’t quite sure what would be in store for me after separating from my husband, but I admit the divorcee life I envisioned looked rather fabulous, perhaps involving a string of passionate love-affairs, life-changing solo adventures abroad, and a deeply cathartic journey towards 'finding myself' and enlightenment. Yes, I may have re-watched Eat, Pray, Love for inspiration. 
Eventually, I'd find a lasting love with my 'dream man' from Tinder of course, and my ex husband and I would maintain a close friendship and harmonious co-parenting set-up with blended family dinners and holidays together (if Gwyneth and Chris could do it, why not us?). 

What actually happened though? Well, my solo trip to Thailand for a week was empowering, but it turns out my single mum budget can't quite afford Elizabeth Gilbert-style multi-month overseas expeditions. Tinder etc have produced a lot of sex (good, bad, and forgettable), countless dates, ghostings, fade-outs, swipe fatigue, and a long-term friends-with-benefits I was far too invested in (he's the subject of a few poems here, as well as my novella Not a Fairytale Ending – The Rewriting of My Story). 

The poems here, which I wrote in the years following the end of my marriage, reflect that reality. While they probably don't paint the grass as any greener, unlike in The Undoing of My Marriage, you won't find any clipped wings or fantasy lovers here, just the messy, complicated reality of starting over again. As they say, the grass is green where you water it, and I've finally found a place flowers can grow – even if it looks a bit different than I once imagined.